Dying to self. Everyday.

Some time ago, I remember thinking, “God, show me what I am supposed to know about this phase of life I am in.” I think that I was in a desperate need for answers because the typical routine had changed. That typical routine was being a student. In May of this year, I graduated college and earned my Bachelor’s degree. Since the early years of Kindergarten until May 2018, I was a student. Even when I was in grade school being homeschooled, the routine was the same: fall meant the start of school and then spring meant the end of school.

In June, I got my first full-time, post-grad job. Since graduation, I have done a lot of searching and questioning and studying God’s Word. So much of me has been trying to figure out what is going on in my life. Before graduation, a lot of things happened that sent me home with a mix of overwhelming emotions. I really wasn’t ready for it. I have learned a lot about myself in this time, though. I want to make a post to expand on these things in the future, but for now, I want to share something that God was showing me during this time of searching for His will for my life.

Learning to live in the valley isn’t for a temporary season. I truly think that when God puts us to the fire and begins the molding process, we start to understand the purpose of Christianity.

I am attracted to the hardships and to rough times because it shows me how little I am and how great God is. Total surrender to God includes hardships. The greatest act of love was shown during a period of pain: Jesus dying on the cross. The difference between humans and Jesus is that He knew what was about to happen because He is all knowing.

He knew the pain He would endure and He knew that He would be both losing His life and gaining our freedom from sin. As humans, when we know that something bad is about to happen, we tend to get the “runaway” mindset where we flee and go the opposite direction of the situation. The avoidance of it all is a self-preserving mechanism we are internally bound by. When God calls us to do something hard, or when bad things happen, we automatically wonder where the exit paths are. The thought of facing the thing that could hurt us or cause pain is too great. All we want is the happy times and the warm, fuzzy feelings.

In the Bible, Job didn’t always have the good times. He suffered a great loss that never seemed to end. It was His faithfulness to God, by God’s grace – even when it looked like all was lost – has now been recognized by millions of people since the documented event took place. To discipline that self-preserving mechanism into obeying God is an act of grace. When Jesus died for our freedom from sin, He was showing how to obtain freedom. One must die to self. Imitating Christ is what we are called to do once we have been given the gift of salvation. Dying to ourselves will be a hard battle to endure, yet God says that He will, in all graciousness, give us the strength that we will need.

Living in such a way that is constantly obeying God is not easy because we are humans. Our humanity is dependent on a life source. My prayer is that the life source I am always turning to is the King of my heart. I pray that I do this because as I do this, He can use me so much more than if I was only turning to Him when I needed Him. Going before the Throne of grace with boldness needs to be a part of a daily routine. Ah, yes. I see what He just did: the routine that I want to find to live in this new season of life. My new challenge is to always be bold before Him.

My friend, as you read this, I pray that you never think for a moment that “you got this” in your life. I pray that you see just how broken and empty life apart from the Lord is. Make Him a part of your “daily routine.” No, I am not just talking about praying and reading His Word (you should always do that), but I am talking about also knowing that you have the power of grace inside of you. The Holy Spirit lives within the believer. Because of that, we have the ability to be bold before the Throne.

“Let us, therefore, come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” – Hebrews 4:16


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s