If you have read any of my previous posts, you would know that fear has been a huge obstacle for me. Overcoming fear has been far from easy. It has required me to not just step out of my comfort zone but to give all of who I am to the Lord.
In the past year, I saw Him put me in different situations that pulled me and pushed me around like a wave in the ocean. I wanted to throw the towel in so many times. I found myself asking crying out, “Please, God. Why? I can’t do this anymore!” I came to many breaking points where I found myself on my knees before Him.
“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” – Hebrews 4:16
No matter how many times I wanted to give up on whatever it was that I was facing or the situation I was in, deep down, I knew I couldn’t give up. I felt it would be worse to give up, yet I just didn’t have the energy to continue on. When things started to look bleak, I would look for the exits.
I didn’t like the feeling of being trapped. Sometimes that feeling could come from a circumstance or a person. If I began to feel like I was losing control and I would be tossed into a place of entrapment in my mind, I would know that it was time to start evaluating whether or not the situation was worth it. Feeling trapped isn’t the act of being trapped against my will. It was of the feeling of losing control that I thought I had and things going the way that I wanted them to.
Taking leaps of faith isn’t exactly something I do very often. It requires too much energy. At least, that was what I once thought. To trust the Lord was to just do the things that were obviously things that He would want me to do. Something I have come to understand and learn is that sometimes the things He will call you to will not always be so easy to see. The small and ever so quiet nudges on my heart are the ones that carry the greatest test of faith and obedience to the Lord.
Taking the leap of faith sometimes comes in the form of going up to the door and walking through. For me, I have learned that some of the answers are on the other side, I just need to have faith and walk through.